I love how in black sails nobody can just walk into an empty room to have a private conversation with someone, they’ve always gotta dramatically be like “give us the room” and make everyone else leave
ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember
1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect
2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE
3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”
4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL
5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances
6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit
7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS
8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright
9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia.
in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man
finding out picasso died in 1973 feels like the fakest thing ive ever heard. everyone talks about him like he lived in a cave with nothing but a torch and paint he made from berries or bear shit or somethin but nah this dude probably sat down watchin looney tunes thinkin “damn i should draw some dude with a nose on his forehead thatd be dope” i feel so lied to
Say what you will about your fave villains, no one has ever gone as hard as the Evil Queen from The 10th Kingdom who poisoned not one apple, but a whole fucking orchard to take out an entire enemy army.
I think one of the reasons the Rosa Diaz news is, for me, so exciting is because we now have a “safe” bisexual character on mainstream television.
Brooklyn Nine Nine is a half hour sitcom. That’s not to say that bad things don’t happen to the characters, because they do, and it’s not to say there isn’t a certain amount of dangerous elements, I mean, it’s about cops, for Christ’s sake. But major characters don’t die. And death is a standard trap for LGBT characters. There is a reason we all know what someone means when they say kill your gays.
Rosa’s not going to fall victim to that. Unless the show is taken in a vastly different direction from where it is right now, Rosa is not going to be killed senselessly.
Whenever I tune into Brooklyn Nine Nine, I’m not going to have to worry that she’s about to bite it for no good reason. I don’t have to keep it in the back of my mind that she might not make it through this episode by virtue of her sexuality.
tl;dr, Rosa Diaz is an honest to god safe bisexual character in a form of media, I’ve been crying a little since I found out, and that’s one of the reasons.
“barbie as the princess and the pauper” has the most solid storyline, as well as being the most well-remembered and well-loved of the barbie movies of the 2000s. the characters are engaging, and the romances are surprisingly solid. (even if annelise and erika were clearly gay for each other, their love interests still had likable personalities and good dynamics with the girls.) the music has also held up incredibly well, albeit with a lot of cheese.
“barbie as the island princess” has a cliche but entertaining storyline, but has the strongest music overall. the side characters are also remarkably well-done, and it avoids falling into the trap of the boyfriend’s intial fiancee being evil – luciana and ro become friends instead. it also has some genuinely emotional moments.
“barbie in the nutcracker” has probably the strongest script overall, as well as tim curry. the cgi is shit nowadays but it was good for the time, and the ballet sequences are still very fun.
“barbie in swan lake,” although not as well-remembered, is a solid family movie, with beautiful music and ballet sequences, as well as a really cool villain. its storyline isn’t the best, but it’s a solid 90 minutes of fun.
“the barbie diaries” was a huge oddball in the canon, but in my opinion, it’s underrated. yes it’s probably the stupidest and the most predictable, but it has songs written by kesha (no, seriously, look it up), and it’s an admirable attempt at something different.
“barbie as rapunzel” ABSOLUTELY INFLUENCED “TANGLED” AND YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. features a surprisingly clever twist at the climax, as well as a creepy villain, and it’s a different take than most rapunzel stories.
“barbie and the magic of pegasus” is the first original barbie movie, which warrants applause on its own. the story is fun, and it’s nice to have a love interest with a proper Tragic Backstory
“barbie and the diamond castle” features some of the most fun side characters, as well as some pretty good music. should’ve been gay, though.
“barbie in the christmas carol” deserves credit just for casting BARBIE as SCROOGE. did not see that coming at ALL.
“barbie and the 12 dancing princess” is kind of underappreciated. admittedly it’s not as memorable, but it does a good job adapting a lesser-known fairytale.
the fairytopia/mariposa movies are their own thing and need their own post, which i’m not gonna do because i barely remember them. i do remember i really liked the first mariposa movie as a kid, tho.
…these are thoughts i actually dwell on and type out, apparently
shesaheroyousee 